I Miss You
by cali-luv
Summary: Spike comes back to Sunnydale, and complications insue. Will Dawn and Spike's friendship ever be the same? Read and Review!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Joss Whedon owns all Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Angel characters including Dawn and Spike, tear sad tear. And Blink 182 own's "I miss you". The song, that is. But I own the story.  
  
A/N: Here's a short song fiction between Dawn and Spike. Buffy never comes back to life after she jumps from the tower, and after taking care of Dawn for a while, Spike leaves for what he though was the best. It's to Blink182's "I Miss You". Please read and review! - brianna -----------  
  
He stopped in midstep as he heard quiet tears fall. Had he not had extra sensitive ears, he knew he would have never caught the sounds of water droplets hitting stone and the small shudders of breath.  
  
"Bloody hell," he thought to himself, "What stupid bint would be in the heart of a graveyard in the middle of the ruddy night?!" Spike sighed heavily, and looked through the branches blocking his view of whoever was crying. When the curtain of leaves no longer blocked his vision, spike saw a young girl laying in fetal position on Buffy's grave. Anger flooded through every inch of his cold skin. How dare someone lay anywhere near Buffy's grave? Damn well near blasphemy, it was to him. Spike could feel a low growl begin to form in the back of his throat, but it caught suddenly choking him as the girl's head shot up.  
  
Spike reeled backwards from the blow of recognition. Dawn, Nibblet. He studied her, shock at not knowing whom she was coursing through him. Dawn's hair was just as long as it was a year ago, but had lost its original gleam that was so characteristically Dawn Summers. Her eyes were hallow and dead as they darted around the small clearing encircling Buffy's grave. Her pale face held no pigment besides the purple circles inset under both of her eyes.  
  
She was so different, this couldn't be his Dawn. This was not the Dawn he remembered, and will forever hold near to him. He knew that he faced the risks of her reaction when he came back to Sunnydale for her. He expected her to be angry for leaving her. He expected to be called a 'hideous creature' and a worthless thing' just as the person who's grave she lay on had so many times.  
  
But Spike never would have expected this. His Dawn was a strong girl. This Dawn was haunted, empty. He knew that she was not just crying over some petty problem. He could smell it on her. The need and yearning for death. Spike never expected to be so frightened of the one person he cared about most. His unbeating heart sank to the depths of his belly when he heard what she sobbed into the darkness, bravado of fearlessness in her manner.  
  
"Please, . . . whoever or whatever you are, just kill me here, just kill me here.please, I don't care anymore, please come out and take this, take this away from me, please, please." Dawn rested her upper body and head on the grass by her sister's headstone once more, her hair in a dead halo around her shoulders.  
  
Poor Bit, Spike thought to himself. Missing older sis so much, look how much it haunts her soul, how could I leave her like this? I thought I was being strong for her, I'm such a bloody git, look at her; how I wish I could hold her. Look how much she misses her family, lying on Buffy's grave and next to her mother's as if it's the last thing she had. She wants death, I can't feel it, I can taste her need for an end.  
  
"Don't waste your time on me, you're already a voice inside my head." Spike looked up from his boots at the figure whimpering into the grass. "I miss you, miss you. . .miss you. . .miss you" He watched her repeat this many times, no emotion showing on his face. He didn't know what to do, he didn't know if there was anything he could do for this haunted shadow of a girl he loved. He couldn't take away the pain of her sister's death; he couldn't help her out of grief for the death of B-  
  
"Spike!" Dawn sobbed, her thin shoulders shaking. Spike's head jerked up and he stared at her. Had she just said his name? Did she know he was there?  
  
"Spike.oh, Spike it hurts," she wailed louder. He almost ran to her until he heard her speak again. "Why did you leave me? I miss you, I miss you, I miss you. . . miss you miss you."  
  
Spike recoiled for the second time that evening. It wasn't Buffy that she was crying over, it was his bloody worthlessness. Tears ran down from his eyes and raced down his high cheekbones. He clutched a shaking hand to where his heart would have beat if he were human. If he weren't a soulless bastard who hurt little girls.  
  
"Spike, ". . . she whispered to the wind as it encircled her, making her hold her knees to her chest for warmth. He watched her, frozen as she opened her lips and hummed to herself, rocking back and forth on the gravesite. After a while of this, she sat up and wiped her red eyes on her sleeve. She scooted back so that her back was flat against Buffy's headstone, and covered her head in her sweatshirt hood. Hugging her arms over her head, he could see the tears fall again silently as she whispered in the tune of her earlier humming.  
  
"Where are you? And I'm so sorry. I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight I need somebody and always Comes creeping on so haunting every time And as I stared I counted webs from all the spiders Catching things and eating their insides Like indecion to find you And hear your voice of treason Will you come home and stop this pain tonight? Stop this pain tonight"  
  
At the end of her lullaby, Dawn got up and leaned against the headstone. For the first time in over a year, Spike got a good look at what his Nibblet had become. Sickeningly pale and thin. Her clothing was torn and hung loosely from her once healthy body. Dirt covered her entirety, and scrapes and bruises dotted all over her lithe figure.  
  
"Don't waste your time on me, you're already the voice inside my head. . . I miss you, miss you." She whispered again, and pulled her bottom lip into her mouth. Love for this girl poured from Spike when he saw her do this. This was his Dawn. Dawn always had done that when she was upset or frightened, but had only done it for him. No one else was allowed to see her weak, to take care of her. Take care of her like only he could, until he left her, that is.  
  
Dawn turned and walked in the opposite direction from where Spike was standing. He moved the branches again to follow her when she was out of earshot. Dawn glided over a large field with five headstones in a row. She kneeled down briefly before each one and placed a kiss to her hand, before standing up and touching the headstone. When she finished doing this and returned walking to wherever her destination was, Spike followed.  
  
When he reached the graves, he glanced shortly at the names inscribed across them not really expecting to know any of these people. But what he saw stopped him right in his footsteps. "Xander Harris - best friend and older brother" He whispered. Looking at the next name, he read, "Rupert Giles - Father, Leader, Beloved Friend" He couldn't read it anymore. This was just too much for him all at once. He glanced at the other three names, confirming them to be Willow's, Tara's and Anya's. He closed his eyes shut and perced his lips.  
  
He took in a deep, unneeded breath through his nose, and caught Dawn's scent on the gentle breeze that rustled through the willow trees. Dawn, he thought as if waking up from a dream. He jogged a little ways to catch up, but couldn't find her. He searched for her scent again, and followed it.  
  
Spike stood dumbfounded at the large metal door of his old inhabited crypt. It was open about two feet, so he easily slipped in after Dawn. Why in bleeding hell would she go to a place like this? As soon as he asked it, the question was answered. A match was struck and it lit a candle, illuminating the room. "Cor'.bloody hell" Spike growled under his breath, not really meaning to. The once bare crypt that he had lived in was obviously inhabited by someone. There was an old blanket on the couch that he had left, and various food wrappers, all of it looking old and thrown out. On the floor in the corner was a small pile of weapons, stakes mainly, and a hammer that he most definatly recognized. Yes, someone was living here, and he had a damn good idea as to whom.  
  
"Who's there?" He heard a small voice come from where the candle was lit. If he was going to reveal himself, now was as good a time as ever. He stepped out of the shadows, letting the ring of candlelight cradle his face. Dawn gasped, but did not back away from him as he had expected. He could tell things were not right in her brain the second his eyes made contact with hers for the first time. She was drained of everything, all the life she had once had. Gone.  
  
"Spike?" She covered her mouth with her hand is if punishing herself for thinking such a thing could happen. "No, no.don't waste your time on me, you're already a voice inside my head.you're already a voice inside my head. I miss you miss you" she cried at him.  
  
Spike bit his own lip now, tears once again running down his face. "It's me, love. Nibblet, come here, it's me. Don't you see me? I'm back baby, I'm going to help you, come here 'Bit"  
  
Dawn just stood there shaking her head slowly. "No, you left. You're gone, you're a voice inside my head", she said taking a few tentative steps towards him. At this invitation of closer proximities, Spike took a few strides so that he was directly in front of her. "Look at me, Dawn". She looked at him with big watery blue eyes. "I know I left, and there's nothing I could ever do to make up for it. I thought I was in the right by letting you get along with your life without me dragging you down. I know I was wrong, I'm here to stay if you'll have me". He cupped her cheeks and stared into her eyes somberly, tears still streaming from his own. She seemed to have slipped into a sort of trance. "Dawn?" He questioned, concern drenching his voice.  
  
Dawn traced a finger down his cheeks, following the trail of tears that he shed. Shed for her and her pain. For her. He could hear her humming the tune of the song she sang earlier on Buffy's grave. She looked up at him, running her hands all over his face and chest, memorizing every part of him. Making sure he was real. She whispered all the while,  
  
"Hello there, the angel from my nightmare The shadow in the background of the morgue The unsuspecting victim in the darkness of the valley We can live like Jack and Sally if we want"  
  
At this point, Spike melted against her, bringing his arms around her waist and tucking her head under his own. His tears fell into her hair without restraint.  
  
"Where you can always find me"  
  
Dawn's voice broke, at the remembrance of Spike leaving her. Never, never could she be alone again. She couldn't live without him another day.  
  
"We'll have Halloween on Christmas"  
  
Spike gave a watery smile at this, for he remembered the Christmas Eve when fourteen year old Dawn had put on every accumulative Halloween costume she'd collected throughout the years, just to get a rise out of her mother and sister and break the formality of Christmas Dinner. How he loved his girl.  
  
"And in this night we'll wish this never ends"  
  
He held her closer to him. Never, he thought to himself.  
  
"We'll wish this never ends"  
  
She finished her song and rested her weight on him, feeling safe and comforted for the first time since he left. He kissed the top of her head, and then pulled away slightly to look at her face, but still holding her to him. "Let's rest Nibblet, we have a lot of catching up to do you and I."  
  
He looked at her in confusion as her eyes clouded over with fear. "No, don't leave me, you can't leave me. . . Don't become a voice again, you're real, don't be not real anymore." She struggled against him, but he shushed her, and kissed both her teary eyelids. "Love, I promise I will never, ever leave you again." After a long while of looking into each other's eyes, Dawn leaned into his embrace again, allowing him to pick her up. He carried her over to the couch and lay her down gently on the beaten cushions, covering her with the thin blanket. She just let him baby her like she was 14 again, and dug deep into the back of the couch, pulling Spike's arm down with her. He hesitated, looking at the beautiful young girl before him. He lay down on the couch facing her, pushing her hair behind her ears. Her eyes fluttered closed, and they lay there in peaceful silence, her with her eyes shut, and him watching her breathe. After a few moments of quiet, Dawn whispered, "Spike?"  
  
"Yes, Love?" He cooed at her, lovingly rubbing her arm.  
  
"Just making sure you're still there" She smiled when he kissed her cheek. He leaned back and said, "I'll always be here for my Nibblet".  
  
"Spike?" She said again, burying her face in his chest  
  
"Yes, Love?" He asked, tucking her head under his chin and stroking her hair.  
  
"I miss you"  
  
- - -  
  
A/N: if you think I should write more chapters to this tell me, please review! 


	2. Spike's Musings

Hey guys - I'm so sorry for all the delay but it's been a long while since I've seen Spike in anything and I haven't had much inspiration. But I'm all back in my Spike phase again, so here goes. To my lovely reviewers: Thank you so much! I will continue this story as long as you keep reviewing (do I smell a bribe?) . As for a spike/dawn shipper, I'm working on their relationship right now, and what it will evolve to, I'm not quite sure yet. My mind works in mysterious ways, but if you REALLY want a shipper, I can absolutely make it happen in due time, I love spike/dawn as well. Review!  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing except my over-active imagination. *grins*  
  
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Spike lay awake for the rest of the night. The long hours until daybreak went by in a world wind of confusion and thought. He was very troubled over the girl tucked into his chest. She was not the same Dawn that he once knew. She wasn't the untouchable, innocent yet strong child he had formed a friendship with so long ago. But, he thought, she was still strong, wasn't she? She was still alive, living by herself, and on the bloody mouth of hell of all places. All her near and dear had died, all except for him.  
  
But then again, what he had done was even worse than dying, which was uncontrollable. He had willingly left her to her own defenses, with her mother and sister dead, and father out of the picture. Bloody ponce! What did he expect? To come back and find her prancing in a field of posy's blowing kisses at him? Her hair all agleam, eyes shining only for him. They had always shined for him. Only for him. Had he expected her to hide her rosy face with her hands and giggle at the fact that her life was torn to pieces and he had left with a significant chunk of it? What had he expected?  
  
Not this. Never this. Torn by grief and pain, Spike didn't know exactly what he had been thinking when he abandoned her. He knew he had thought it right, but the reasoning he installed into his mind was unclear as he glazed down at her.  
  
* * * * (One year ago, Spike's P.O.V.)  
  
The pansy, Harris, he'll keep a brotherly protection over her. Captain Library is more a father figure than I ever could be for her, and Red and Tara will keep a watchful eye on her. I need to leave her with them; the closest to a normal life could get for her. She didn't need to spend the rest of her adolescence with a vampire, it just wasn't right. He wouldn't be selfish, and feed off her pain and weakness anymore. What would happen when the Nibblet stopped grieving and moved on with her life? She bloody hell wouldn't want him anymore; she would wake up and smell the bloodshed. Realization of what I truly am would hit her full on in that pretty little face of hers. Her childhood's naïve nature would evaporate and she would see me for what I really am. Evil, a dirty evil thing, a murderer.  
  
William.  
  
The Bloody.  
  
Spike crawled out of the sleeping Dawn's window. He scaled the trellis, and leaped gracefully to the unkempt lawn. Giving one last glance up at her window, Spike ground his cigarette into the grass and stalked away into the night.  
  
* * *  
  
(Present)  
  
He knew he had thought it right, but the reasoning he installed into his mind was unclear as he glazed down at her.  
  
No, she most certainly wasn't the same Dawn that he had left. She was not a little girl anymore. He studied the body pressed up against him, tiny hands clutching the thin blanket on his chest. Her face was somehow much older looking, not the same cherubic glimmer of childhood. He was for the first time made aware of how beautifully long her eyelashes were. Wet tears from earlier that evening clung lovingly to each lash, and glimmered in the small amount of sunlight that was starting to seep through the cracks in the crypt door. Her hair was darker, and had fallen across her chin, neck and shoulders. He pushed it back, and traced his fingers gently along her neck and resting on her collarbone.  
  
Gleaming white skin met his fingertips, and he studied her neck with trained eyes. Not a scar visible. It struck him how untouched and innocent she still remained. A small part of her was still his Dawn. She was still the young weakling he had loved for so long. Only now, she wasn't so young, or so weak. He finally tore his eyes away from her throat and down to her body. The blanket clung tightly to her as she stretched out a little more over him. He observed her as if he had never seen her before. She had evidently grown into her long, slender legs. Her fresh curves were visible under the thin cotton of the quilt.  
  
Bloody hell. How had he not noticed any of this before? His mind was racing a thousand miles per minute. He reeled with a mixture of shock and protectiveness. How hard had life been for her when she was going through the death of her loved ones, and all this at the same time? He vaguely remembered growing up back in England, and knew it wasn't an easy thing to try and figure out on one's lonesome. His body became rigid as another thought struck him. Dawn was coming of age, this most certainly meant boys. He scowled and unknowingly slipped into game face, fangs sliding over his bottom lip.  
  
If anyone, living or not had so much as touched a hair on her head, he would go back to the sort of recreation that had given him his nickname. Spike. He grinned for a moment, thinking of the horrified look on some greasy, spotty adolescent boy as he ran, screaming bloody murder. Which is exactly what the outcome would be in the end. He almost chuckled, but stopped as he felt a pair of eyes on him.  
  
He looked down into Dawn's big, blue eyes. She stared right back at his, without blinking or looking away. "So?" She said expectantly, a hint of resentment in her voice. His unbeating heart sank at the bitterness of the tone, but he didn't miss the hopeful and loving sound either.  
  
"What?" He said, a little confused.  
  
"Aren't you going to say anything?" She said, a world of emotions peaking through her small voice. Anger, love, fear, resentment, hope.  
  
"Nibblet, what are you on about?" Spike looked down at her, honestly confused at her implying manner, as if he had started a sentence and not finished it.  
  
"We've rested, and you really weren't just a voice, you haven't left me. . ." She paused. ". . . yet," She paused once more, then gave him a harder look. "Again." He cringed, and laced his fingers with hers. He was surprised when she didn't pull her hand away, but simply looked down at their interlaced fingers with a blank expression. She then looked back into his eyes.  
  
"And it's like you said isn't it? We have a lot of catching up to do, you and I."  
  
- - - - - -  
  
Review!!! 


	3. Conversations and Understandings

She then looked back into his eyes. "And it's like you said isn't it? We have a lot of catching up to do, you and I."  
  
Spike smiled crookedly at her, and brought their joined hands to his lips and kissed her fingers. Resting his chin in his other hand, he said "That we do, 'Bit".  
  
"Don't." Dawn said in a steady voice.  
  
Spike looked at her, confusion showing in his eyes again. "Don't. . . what, Nibblet?"  
  
"That, don't call me that. Don't call me any of it. I'm not Nibblet anymore, and I'm certainly not your 'little bit'. You lost all rights to that when you left."  
  
Spike didn't say anything, and a silence stretched over the two. After a few moments Dawn said in a harder tone, "Not that I expected you to know I've changed. You leaving me and all. How could you do that Spike? Stop-- " she was cut off mid sentence by Spike kissing her cheeks softly. She tried to regain her composure and finish her thought but was cut off again by his finger being pressed to her lips.  
  
"Shh, Nibblet. Just listen, okay?" He said, pleading with his eyes. She was about to open her mouth and correct him, but he beat her to it. "Sorry love, Dawn"  
  
For a moment he relaxed when he saw love flood over her features. But only for a moment, for it was quickly replaced with a look of fear.  
  
"No. Why should I listen to you? I'm not your pet anymore. I'm not your platelet or nibblet. I'm not YOURS Spike." She said all this looking him right in the eye, her voice never wavering. After she finished, she moved to get up off the couch.  
  
IN one swift movement, Spike swung his right leg over her, and pinned their still interlaced fingers gently to the sides of her head. She gasped, and he almost grinned at her wide-eyed deer-in-headlights look. He mouth hung open in shock, but she couldn't help the longing in her heart to be closer to Spike. She missed the feel of his cold body holding hers, and the comfort he used to bring to her. Even in this situation, as strange as it was, she felt safe under him. But her pride got the best of her as she screwed her face up into a scowl.  
  
"Get. Off. Of. Me. Spike." She said, pronouncing every word as to get the point across.  
  
"No." He said simply.  
  
"What? Yes! Get OFF! I'm not going to let you-" She started struggling harder than ever, beating her clenched fists against his chest. Fury overtook her as she screamed at him.  
  
"Dawn Summers, you are going to bleeding listen to me. I'm not going to leave you alone, I'm not going to get off of you. I'm going to park myself right here until you shut that pretty little mouth of yours and let me answer all those questions you bottle up in your heart." He leaned in closer as he said this, and waited patiently for her response.  
  
Silence. Dawn couldn't think of anything to say to him. He knew her way to well for her to pretend she didn't care. He knew her inside and out, whether she had changed or not. She couldn't tell him to get off again because number one, she knew he wouldn't, and number two, she didn't really want him to. She could think of nothing to say to him, so she did the only thing that made sense at that moment.  
  
She started crying.  
  
Tears spilled from her big blue eyes, leaving tiny trails down her cheeks. Spike leaned in closer to her, and released her hands. Instead of pushing him away, they flew around his neck within seconds. Spike leaned to his right, and laid his body between the back of the couch and Dawn. He wrapped his arms around her waste and drew her up close to him, stroking her hair and whispering nothings to her, trying to comfort her.  
  
He wasn't too experienced at the whole 'emotional support thing'. He had never felt so responsible for a single person his entire life, or unlife. He was overtaken with so many emotions he didn't know which to deal with first.  
  
He hated himself, he hated that it had come to this. His Dawn, a shadow of the light she once was, crushed and beaten. He wanted to show her how sorry he was, but he couldn't think of where to start.  
  
He took one of his hands and cupped it under her chin gently, making her face him. He studied her blue eyes carefully. Honest blue eyes. He could see her love for him. He could see how much it had torn her inside out when he left her. He could feel the loss in her, it was all around her, hovering thick in the air above their heads. He leaned in and kissed away the tear trails on her cheeks gently. He felt her long lashes brush against his own cheeks as her eyes closed.  
  
Her body was shaking with suppressed sobs, but she gathered everything she had and pulled away from him. She looked into his cerulean eyes again. Oh, how she loved those eyes. They had always captured her, had always been able to bend her will and melt her heart. She needed to know.  
  
"Why, Spike?"  
  
He didn't have to ask what she was talking about. He knew bloody well. He thought for a moment, and said honestly, "Because I love you."  
  
"Wh. . . what?" Her voice shook with emotion and she drew a hand up to her mouth to keep from crying more.  
  
"I know you heard me. I love you, Nibblet. You were and are the best friend I have ever had in this hell of a world. You alone understand me. You alone never looked down on me for being a. . . for being what I am. You always accepted me and made me feel wanted." He squeezed her hand again, but frowned at what came out of her honest mouth.  
  
"No, Spike. Stop confusing me with Buffy. I'm not my sister. It's my sister's company you always wanted. Unless leaving loved ones is a common sign of loyalty to vampires."  
  
Spike never looked away from her eyes, trying to read every emotion coursing through her.  
  
"Dawn, I'm not going to lie to you. There's not bloody point, I was infatuated with your sister. But you know how she treated me. Like an evil, disgusting thing that wasn't worth substituting in for a doormat. The vampire side in me loved to be challenged, thrived on being beaten down constantly. Yes, I loved Buffy, but in a very different way. I know who she was. And I know who you are. You are not and never will be Buffy. Don't ever think I get confused about you. You've been the same since the start. Bright and loving. A little twinkling light in my world of darkness. The Dawn to my sunset. "  
  
Dawn had stopped sobbing, but silent tears ran more readily down her face. She pulled her bottom lip into her mouth. Spike smiled at the familiar expression and kissed her nose.  
  
"You are still my Nibblet no matter what. You are everything to me, I want to take care of you with every part of me. I miss you so bad, Dawn. I miss our conversations, and I miss you asking the Big Bad for advice, I miss you coming into my crypt at night, and I miss catching you doing things you shouldn't right under slayer's nose. I miss you pushing the envelope every chance you could, I miss you dancing and humming and not caring what anyone thinks 'bout you. I miss being able to be a bloody git around you, and you just loving me more for it. I miss us and our friendship but the most painful of all 'Bit, I miss you"  
  
Dawn stared at him in amazement. She would have never expected any of this to come out of his mouth. She then looked down and broke their eye contact for the first time.  
  
"Then. . . why did you leave? If you love - loved me, then why would you leave me?" She started to cry again. "Please, make it make sense, Spike. You have no idea how much it hurts, it's eating me away."  
  
"I left because I love you. In my head I thought I was doing the right thing. You have to understand, I haven't been fighting the good fight for all that long, pet. I'm not really one to know how to care for another. But I saw you sliding away from the light you once held in you. The light that made me love you in the first place. You clung so much to me, I felt like I was the reason for your . . . depression. I knew you had lost so much, and I didn't want you to change completely by hanging around me all the time. I thought it would be . . . better for you to live with the other humans and let you have a semi-normal life. Believe me, please. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, and if I could take it back I would. I just wanted you to be happy, and I knew you could never be happy with rubbish like me."  
  
Dawn lazily traced her fingers in unknown patters through his hair. Snuggling closer to him she signed against his chest. For a long while they lay like that. Spike listened to the lullaby of her heartbeat, and tucked her head under his chin. "Bit, I am so sorry I left you. I will never leave you again. I promise."  
  
Dawn only clung closer to him, and gave the smallest of smiles. He felt this through his shirt and sighed unnecessarily. "I'm just. . . so happy to have you back. Can we just lay here forever?" He voice was becoming heavy with sleepiness and relaxation.  
  
"Forever is a long time, pet" He whispered into her ear in his husky English accent.  
  
"Perfect."  
  
****  
  
I'm sorry if this chapter was completely crap, I might rewrite it if you complain. I had a concert tonight so I am exhausted and can barely think. I'm sorry for all the spelling and grammar mistakes, I'm so tired! I just needed to get this scene in typing before I forgot it. Review PLEASE!!! And to those who reviewed, thank you! I love you! : )  
  
Brianna 


	4. Beautiful

You guys, are just way too good to me. Merry Christmas and all that jazz! Sorry it takes soo long between updates, I know I'm the biggest bum in the world, and I still don't know where this story is heading. But buckle your seatbelts mates; it'll be a bumpy ride! Spike's a 150-year-old vampire, and throw a 15-year-old unstable hormone bomb into the mix, trouble is guaranteed! *Wriggles eyebrows* Anyways, thanks are due to the following WONDERFUL people:  
  
Claire Starling - Okay, wow. You were one of my inspirations to start writing fan fiction so the fact that you reviewed one of my fictions means *so* much to me. And what you said means even more! Thank you so much! I particularly favored the last few lines myself.*sigh* wish it was me and not her, don't you?  
  
blackbeltchic - I like Spike and Spike .I mean Spike and Dawn too, I think their friendship is beautiful. Thanks for the review!  
  
jen (naughty169420@hotmail.com) - I know my chapters are short, but I do that on purpose. I don't like to cram meaningless babble into chapters just to make them long, what I write in chapters is supposed to stick out and mean something, I duno! Haha thanks for the review!  
  
DevilishGurl0222 - That was so, so sweet of you love! Thank you! That means a lot.  
  
Jill - thanks so much! I shall oblige, dear.  
  
Enn-Enn- Thank you for all your words of encouragment, you rock some hard- core socks!  
  
bretts-girl - Aw, my old reviewer! I remember you from my other fics, and you're so sweet thank you.  
  
the-witchs-babe - Thanks love! "Oh my goddess" I will surely continue ;)  
  
Now that that's outta the way, on with the show!  
  
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"Forever is a long time, pet." He whispered into her ear in his husky English accent.  
  
"Perfect."  
  
Spike hummed low in his chest, soothing and calm. She sighed, sleepily. Dawn couldn't help thinking that it half sounded like a purr, but she thought better of telling him that. Hurting a vampire's pride wasn't a smart move, she had learned. Instead, she turned around so that her back was facing him and stretched out her body, arching her back. Spike reached an arm out and clasped her hip to keep her from suddenly slipping off of the couch. Dawn giggled, surprised as he pulled her back against his chest. She gave a sleepy little "hmm" as she laid her head back on his arm. Spike quirked a grin down at her and said, "Just as sharp on the reflexes as ever, Pet." Dawn lay flat on her back and looked at him with her best scowl and said, "Well, Captain Kitten, if you weren't purring like some appeased animal, maybe I wouldn't have gone all relax-o, and therefore, would not have fallen off of the couch."  
  
To her surprise, Spike didn't defend himself against the kitten/purr comment, but looked thoughtfully down at her. Awarding herself prematurely triumphant, Dawn's scowl broke into a grin and she stuck out her tongue at him.  
  
Spike was on top of her before she had time to pull her tongue back inside of her mouth, straddling her hips and pinning her to the couch again. She gasped, and her eyes widened like they had when he had done the same move before, only this time there was no anger in her eyes. Just innocence, and . . . was that giddiness? Dawn swallowed down the lump forming in her throat as silence stretched out between them. He still looked down at her with those blue eyes, not giving away what he was thinking about.  
  
Spike wanted to grin when he saw the abashed look on her face. Color was flushing her cheeks, and she finally broke the wide-eyed stare and looked away from him, cheeks still burning. Knowing that he had beat her at their silent battle of wills, he grinned and leaned in closer to her, his face hovering over hers. "First of all, the point was to make you relaxed Love, I don't go around humming like a ponce for no reason, and don't you go telling nobody I . . ." he paused for a minute, and continued, "Purr either. I'm no kitten." He finished in his thick English accent, and winked at her as she looked back up at him. "And second of all?" She asked, bringing a hand up to his hair and playing with his messy curls unconsciously. She grinned impishly at her own daring and, growing flushed again, took her hand down as she looked away.  
  
"Second of all, Nibblet, I am not an animal. I am a monster, don't mistake the two." Spike slipped into game face, expecting her to squirm and fear him. He almost jumped at the small hands that found their way to both of his cheeks, and then his forehead, tracing the ridges with her fingers. He looked down at her, surprised, as she searched his face with her innocent, wondering eyes. She closed them and sighed, still rubbing the rough flesh of his game face with her warm fingers. After a few minutes, Spike cupped her face and she opened her eyes. "What are you doing, Love?" He asked her, all traces of gruffness and threat gone from his voice. "Memorizing you." She said, as if it were the simplest, most wonderful thing in the world. As if he were the most wonderful thing in the world. Dawn dragged her thumb across one of his fangs, and gave him a small smile, meeting his beautiful eyes again. "You were never a monster to me, Spike. Always just plain beautiful."  
  
Spike unconsciously lost hold of his game face, and went back to his human front. "Beautiful." She repeated, playing with his hair again. Spike closed his eyes for a moment, and Dawn was snapped out of her little reverie. Sudden embarrassment swept over her, and she dropped her hands once again, blushing the darkest shade of red she had all evening, by far beating out any from previously. At the loss of her touch, Spike frowned and opened his eyes, taken out of his own reverie.  
  
"What's wrong Dawn?" He asked her, suddenly concerned. He could hear her heart racing in her chest.  
  
Dawn replied with something that sounded a whole lot like a failed attempt at "Nothing, I am just tired." Only my faster, quieter, and all strung together in a low nervous mumble.  
  
Dawn cringed at how her words came out and knew there was no snowball's chance in hell that he would ever believe that. Don't show him all your cards now Dawn, she thought to herself. Really, really convincing Dawnster.  
  
"Right. That's while you've gone all hot and bothered. . . "  
  
Spike frowned down at her as she pulled her bottom lip into her mouth. He grinned as she immediately stuck it back out again when she saw that he had noticed, and registered it as a familiar dawnerism.  
  
". . . and why you'll be doing that then, ay?" He finished; satisfied that he had gotten the best of her.  
  
"I am not hot and . . . I am not hot and bothered Spike!" Dawn said, as heat practically radiated from her cheeks.  
  
"Nibblet," Spike started. He cupped her cheek and flashed her his comforting smile. His hand was pleasantly cold against her blush dispite the situation. "I'm a vampire, remember? I can feel blood, and heat a mile away, and you are definatly not a mile away, now are you?" He finished, still smiling slightly.  
  
Dawn didn't say anything, but just looked at him with those wide innocent eyes. Damn, those eyes. Whether Spike saw her do it or not, Dawn didn't care. She pulled her bottom lip back into her mouth and bit down, hard. If my eyes get any brighter they'll scorch him to dust, she thought, butterflies threatening to choke her.  
  
"In fact," He continued when she greeted him with silence, "I'm currently. . . " Spike looked around them in mock concentration. "On top of you, at the moment Nibblet. So I can feel your heat coming off of you in waves. Now, I asked you what's wrong, and you lied. Even if I couldn't feel your warmth, I know you too well to not know when you lie to me anyway Dawn. So enlighten me."  
  
After a few minutes of them staring at each other in silence, Dawn made an attempt at explaining how she felt.  
  
"I. . . " But that's as far as she got before embarrassment overtook her and butterflies continued their erratic flight all around her chest.  
  
"Well, that was certainly ballsy, wasn't it?" Spike said in a mocking tone, and quirked a crooked grin at her.  
  
Dawn did not find that funny, or the least bit comforting. Instead she rolled over the best she could with him still on top of her, and burst into tears.  
  
"Oh, Dawn . . . Nibblet. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, you know? I'm really not good at the whole comforting thing. Vampire, remember? Soulless bastard. I'm sorry, Bit. Dawn, C'mon now Love. Tell me what's wrong." Spike moved his hips lower, so that he could stretch out over Dawn better. She gave a little jump at the contact, but shot at him icily, "Why, so I can be ballsy again? I don't even know what that means, but I was trying to talk to you and . . . I hate this." She finished uncertainly, the venom leaving her voice.  
  
Spike, not thinking it was the opportune moment to explain the term "ballsy" to a fifteen-year-old girl that he was currently straddling, took a different course of action. He cupped her cheek, and forced her to look at him. "You hate what, exactly love?" He said, eagerness showing through his eyes. When she looked up at him, her anger faded away and all she saw was his love for her.  
  
"I hate not being able to. . . " She trailed off, getting lost in his eyes. He wiped away some of her tears with the thumb of the hand cupping her face. "To. . . ?" He inquired, resting some of his wait on her, and propping himself up on the elbow that he wasn't using in wiping Dawn's face.  
  
"To tell you how I'm feeling." She finished, much in the same manner that she had said ""Nothing, I am just tired." Earlier, low, and mumbled. But he heard her  
  
He heard her loud and clear.  
  
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This seemed like a good place to stop. Its 6 a.m. and I haven't slept yet! Anyway, this is my favorite chapter so far. I really hope that you like it. 


	5. Butterflies

He heard her loud and clear.  
  
Spike looked down at Dawn, his brows knit together in confusion. Dawn saw anger in his eyes too, and it frightened her. "Oh, . . . 'right then." He said shortly as he got off of her and walked across the crypt. He seemed determined not to react to her announcement until she elaborated a little bit. But if she really felt that way, he thought, it might be a little easier for both of them if he wasn't sitting on top of her.  
  
He strode across the room and faced the wall, bracing himself against the cold stone with his arms. His head bent, he took in an unneeded breath. Why wasn't she saying anything? He clenched his jaw muscles tightly and waited as an awkward silence stretched out between vampire and girl.  
  
"No. . . Spike, I just, I didn't. . . " Spike didn't miss the pleading in Dawn's voice and turned around, softening his gaze. He had really gone soft and lost it, he thought. When a fifteen-year-old girl didn't trust him it shattered his poor little bloody feelings. Since when did he have feelings anyway? He sighed, and unclenched his jaw. He had the urge to walk over to her and take her hands but he fought it. Instead he slid down the wall and rested his head against it. Rifling through his leather duster, he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one up.  
  
"Spike I didn't mean I don't trust you. I would trust you with the world if some greater power decided I was worthy of it's future. . . err. . . again." Spike couldn't help a little inwardly smile as she stumbled over her words, honesty showing through every one. "Ya' know what? It would probably be a lot easier if you made a bit of sense, Love." Spike said, looking her in the face.  
  
Dawn scowled at him, breaking her pleading gaze. "Ya' know what? You can really be an asshole when you stop pretending to care." Once again, getting his attention.  
  
"Cor, what the bloody hell are you on about?!" He asked, outraged, smoke pouring out of his mouth and nose. "I care about you more than anything, and you just tell me that you don't trust me for shit!" He looked away from her, hearing himself say the words engraved them even deeper.  
  
"I DID NOT FUCKING SAY THAT! Snaps for drama though Spike, honestly!" Dawn snapped her fingers in the air drammatically. Spike, who had obviously never seen Legally Blonde, just gave her a blank look. Dawn was a very bubbly and happy-go-lucky child, always laughing and sweet. She didn't have outbursts like this one; it was his job in the relationship. He just sat there for a moment with his mouth hanging open, and then tightened his jaw muscles again.  
  
"Look . . . I don't want today to go like this. I wanted to spend today with you, in your arms laughing and talking and tickling and. . . " Spike cut her off with a mumbled, "Tickling?" but she ignored it and continued. ". . Catching up on the part of each others' lives that we missed out on." Spike looked at her, and couldn't help but admire how incredibly honest she was. Honest in everything. If there was something she felt or thought it came spilling out of her mouth straight from her heart. Or at least that's the way that it used to be. Back when Dawn was still a child, and he was still something new, forbidden, cool and amazing. But now things were different, he thought. She couldn't tell him everything that she felt.  
  
Dawn saw him working things over in his mind, and got up off of the couch. She tread barefoot across the stone floor to where Spike sat. She had never really noticed how freezing the crypt was before. She honestly hadn't noticed much in the past year except how much she missed the man sitting in front of where she stood, and she didn't want to lose him now. Dawn sat down across from him, Indian style. "Spike?" She said, as she reached out a tentative finger to touch his face.  
  
"Why don't you trust me Dawn?" The question was so straightforward that it caught her off guard. She looked at him silently, thinking. He watched her suck in her bottom lip, and continued on. "You used to tell me everything. Made me feel bloody special it did. What we had was special. Why can't you tell me how you feel?" He was looking at her full on now, gazing at her intently.  
  
"Spike. . . things just aren't the same as they once were. We will always be special, but I'm just not a child anymore. Well . . . okay, I kind of am still a child anymore, I mean still. But I'm not . . . I don't know. This is really hard to explain, especially with you looking at me all evil-like. I hate you being mad at me, please don't be mad at me!" Unshed tears built up around her eyes as she pleaded with him. He didn't say anything, but scooted closer to her on the floor until their knees touched. He took her hands and looked back into her eyes, expectantly. When she still looked at him uncertainly, he said, "Nibblet, I'm not mad, just confused. Make it better."  
  
Dawn gave him a small smile and took in a large breath of air, as if preparing some long story. "See. . . things were easier to tell you then, when I didn't know anything about anything, not that I know anything about anything right now except, well, death." It was quite true, Spike thought to himself. On more than one occasion Buffy had burst into his crypt and demanded where her little sister had learned certain words and terminologies. "But anyways, I really like how I am going absolutely nowhere with this, it's so amazing, isn't it?" She smiled at him, and he smiled at her. "I do trust you Spike. I just . . . feel things that I've never felt before, and I'm not used to it. And I want to blurt it out and tell you but I'm afraid to. . . that's all. I didn't mean I don't trust you." She said all this looking down at his hands, while he watched her. "Forgive me?" She said, looking up at him with a nervous grin.  
  
"Cor' Love, of course I forgive you. I'm sorry I went off the bloody wall. I should have heard you through." He gave a short smile, but it disappeared as soon as it came. "But Dawn, what are you feeling that you can't tell me?"  
  
"That would be telling, wouldn't it?" She said, trying to dissuade him from the question.  
  
"Dawn, I mean it. I don't like you keeping things from me." When she looked at his hard gaze, she sighed and looked down again. Suddenly, playing with his callused hands was very, very interesting. "Dawn?"  
  
"Just . . . I'm used to the fluttery . . . I mean, I've always gotten the butterflies in my stomach when I am with you . . .when you would say certain things, but now it's different. It's so different, Spike."  
  
"How?" Spike asked, still holding her hands.  
  
Dawn looked back up at him and sighed. "How can such a simple question be so complicated and hard to answer?"  
  
She didn't really expect an answer, and was relieved when he didn't offer one. She continued, "When you say certain things, or you touch me a certain way. . . my stomach flip-flops and I say the stupidest things. I'm sure you noticed it, what was it that you called it?"  
  
Spike inwardly slapped himself for what he was about to say. "Hot and bothered?" "Yeah, that's it. Really charming, I might add.  
  
Spike smiled at her warmly, his blue eyes twinkling with mischief. "Tell me more about how you feel, 'Bit."  
  
"Why, so you can lust over yourself some more? C'mon Spike, I've told you enough. Now please excuse me while I go take pills until I slowly die."  
  
Spike's booming laughter echoed throughout the crypt and it startled her. He grabbed her hand as she made to get up, her cheeks burning with embarrassment.  
  
"Have I ever mentioned that I love your bloody honesty?" He asked her, still laughing. She smiled shyly at him. It was good to hear him say that he loved her for anything after that Oprah-worthy confession.  
  
"So. . . how come you aren't hating me right now?" Spike looked at her, shock showing on his face for a second, and then being replaced by sympathy. "Oh, Dawn. It's not bleedin' likely that I'd ever hate you for anything. 'Sides, I already knew and all."  
  
"You what? Why the hell did you make me go through all that then?!" She asked, horror struck.  
  
"Soulless bastard, remember?" Spike pretended to be very interested in his fingernails.  
  
Dawn got up walked back to the couch where she curled up under her thin blanket. "Goodnight, Spike." She said coldly.  
  
Spike lit up another cigarette, thinking furiously. He really wasn't good with the whole comforting thing. Why'd things have to get complicated? He'd only been back in Sunnydale less than 24 hours and it was like he plunged back into the soap opera.  
  
"Nibblet." She didn't respond. He listened to her breathing to see if she was asleep. She wasn't, her breathing was staggered instead of fluid.  
  
"Dawn." He tried again.  
  
"WHAT!?" She yelled, a little louder and angrier than she had intended. "Just. . . just leave me alone Spike. Play with me later." She rolled over, turning her back to him. "Wha'? Dawn, what are you on about? What's this rubbish, play with you?" "Just shut up."  
  
"I bloody won't shut up until you talk to me!" He said, walking over to her. He sat on the edge of the couch by her knees. "Since you already know what I'm going to say and all. Why should I?" He couldn't see her, but he was sure that she was scowling.  
  
"I didn't have you say it for my own amusement!" He said. "Then why did you make me say it? It obviously meant something to me, but you couldn't see that. Instead, you thought it would be a really amazing idea to mock me." Dawn turned and sat up, her knees folded into her chest.  
  
"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry." Spike said, pushing some of her hair behind her ear. "I just want you to trust me, that's all." At this point, Dawn didn't care about lingering anger and resentment. All she cared about was that he cared. Spike leaned in to hug her, and she rested her face against his neck. Dawn breathed in his heavy scent of cigarettes and peppermint and smiled against his skin. He felt her lips curl, and he smiled himself. She snuggled closer to him, the familiar comfort drawing her in. He wrapped his leather duster around her thin frame and lay them down on the couch. They lay like that for a long time, just being content with being in each other's presence. No matter what outside emotions there were, there would always be the core that was Spike and Dawn. The strength and love that they had for each other would always be alive no matter what, and that was a comforting thing to know when there is so much confusion. When Spike heard Dawn's breathing smooth to a steady rhythm, he kissed the top of her head, letting his lips rest there. With that done, he fell asleep with his Nibblet cradled in his arms.  
  
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Ya'll asked for a longer chapter! Okay, don't worry. I know this is going a bit slow but it's going to pick up a lot in the coming chapter. I know it's just been dialogue but be patient! Think of it as one looooong prologue =0) Thanks! Review review!!! Feed the author! The more you review the more I want to write. 3333 Bri  
  
P.S. I am trying to develop Dawn and Spike's individual characters a little better. I don't like fics where Spike is a sappy run-o-the-mill romantic and all that. I'm trying to develop the sardonic side of Spike as well as the sarcastic, randomly spastic side of Dawn. Let me know if I'm doing a good job! Advice, welcome.  
  
And P.S. My reviewers are AMAZING and I love you so much! And I love Justin! Thanks for "beta-ing" lol cut this little children! Haha  
  
And Enn-Enn, I love how you always take out your favorite chunks of my chapters and out them in your reviews it seriously does help me a lot, and it would be really cool if other loyal noters did that! Wink wink wink wink wink. lol okay, good bye! 


	6. Shadows of the Past

A/N: Okay I posted this chapter last night and it cut of like 1/5 of the way through and I just noticed it. I am so sorry I don't know what happened! Anyway, I here it is reposted, and I hope it works. -Bri  
  
Spike stirred slightly as a tingling sensation went up his right arm. He opened his eyes and saw Dawn lying on it at a strange angle. Gently, he rolled Dawn off and extracted his arm. He sat up and sensed the air around him. It was damp, musty, and night had definatly fallen. Groaning, he stretched his arms out to their fullest extent and yawned, but it turned out as more of a growl.  
  
Dawn opened her eyes and fell off the couch with an "Ahh!" that ended in a dull thud. She looked up to see Spike leaning over the couch with a bemused smile on his lips. "You scared the hell out of me!" she said, sitting up and resting her elbows on the couch, smiling at him. "Sorry Love, didn't mean to wake you like that. It's good to see you all smiles this morning" he said, getting to his feet. Dawn looked at the alarm clock that was sitting on the old TV. "Morning? It's more like evening. But, yeah. What's wrong with being all smiley? Cramp your demon style?" She asked, still smiling.  
  
"No, well yeah, I supposed it does cramp the demon style a lil' bit" He admitted, chuckling. "But I don't mind it from you. For some reason, it's better than fine coming from you. Now get up Nibblet, and get dressed."  
  
"What? Where are we going . . . and I am dressed Mr. Observant." Dawn said, not moving from her position on the floor. "You haven't got anything warmer than . . . that? I wont have you walking about in a graveyard in nothing but your night clothes!" Spike's smile was gone, and he was rummaging around furiously in the pile of Dawn's belongings. Dawn did nothing, just sat there and watched him, amused at how protective he was over her. With a triumphant "Ha!" Spike pulled out the red sweatshirt with gold writing that said "Sunnydale Dance Team" in gold letters that she had been wearing out in the graveyard. He threw it to Dawn, who caught it.  
  
"Dance team, aye?" he said, smirking. "Once upon a time, when I still cared about things besides the apocalypse and my family getting picked off by the grim reaper." Dawn replied coldly, as she pulled the sweatshirt over her head. Spike looked at her stomach as she raised her arms. Thin, she was. Too thin, and almost as pale as he was. "Dawn, have you been eating?" He asked abruptly. Dawn immediately wrapped her arms around her stomach defensively and scowled at him. "Yes, I have been eating. God, randomly invasive much?"  
  
"Okay, we're leaving," Spike said, ignoring her glaring. "Now." Dawn threw her arms up in the air, exasperated. "That would be a whole hell of a lot easier if you would tell me where we are freakin' going!" Spike considered her, and sighed. "We're going back to Rovello, Dawn." Dawn stood there, staring at him. "No. . . " she started to say, but Spike cut her off with a finger to her mouth. "None of that now, I know it's going to be hard, but we are going. There are some things we need to take care of, first and foremost getting you fed and bathed. And before you tell me that you do both of them regularly, save it. You look like hell. I was your sitter once, and I plan on pickin' up the job. You do as I say, or it's time out for you, Love." He softened his tone as her gaze fell to the floor. He removed his hand from her mouth and grabbed her own. Kneeling down in front of her, he found her gaze again and said, "I know it will be hard Bit, but that's what Spike is here for, 'innit? To love you. And I'm going to help you, whether you want to let me or not."  
  
Dawn fell forward and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Thank you." She whispered. Spike smiled sadly and picked her up. "That's my girl. Now let's go, Sweet Bit." Spike carried Dawn to the door of his crypt and pushed it open with his foot. He sniffed the night air, and growled low in his chest when he felt evil fill his senses. Holding Dawn closer to him, he quickened his pace through the graveyard.  
  
"What's wrong?" Dawn asked, slightly alarmed. "Two words; Hellmouth and night. Both of which I can deal with and have more times than you or I could count. But all the same, I'd prefer to not have an innocent 16-year- old girl along for the ride." Dawn was quiet for a while, and then gave a small "Oh." Spike nodded, and leaped a hedge. Neither of them said anything else as Spike's boots made steady thuds on the grass.  
  
Dawn could feel Spike relax as they neared the edge of the graveyard. Even through the thick fog they could see the wrought iron gate that was the entrance to the paved road. As Spike was about to clear the last headstone, a vampire jumped out. Dawn caught herself mid-scream and bit her bottom lip. Spike set her down on her feet and reached in his duster for the stakes he always kept with him. One he handed to Dawn, and the other he held at the ready position. The vampire watched them, amused. "What is this? Spike the mighty back in town? Heard you skipped out pal." Spike growled, keeping one eye on Dawn and the other on the vamp in front of him. "That right? Well hate to tell you mate, but this here is my graveyard, and this is my girl, so you can just sod off."  
  
The vampire laughed, and motioned around the graveyard. "Well, that's interesting, because me and my boys here were under the impression that this was our graveyard. And that girl is fresh blood, so whether she was previously ours or not, she will be in about, oh, 30 seconds?" Spike looked around, and his jaw tightened in fear as three other vampires made their way from behind various headstones and trees.  
  
"Dawn, whatever you do, stay behind me, you understand?" Spike said, reaching behind him to get a hold of her sweatshirt. When he found nothing there, he whirled around in a flurry of leather duster to see her dodging a punch from a vampire. She kicked him square in the jaw, and the vampire stumbled back, just as shocked as Spike was.  
  
A cold arm went around Spike's neck, and he heard a voice say, "Sorry, wasn't the best welcome home party." Spike growled and switched to his vampryc visage. "Should have listened to me mate." Spike reached around him and staked the vampire in the back, who immediately turned to dust. Spike didn't even bother to shake it off. He ran to Dawn's defense, staking another vampire on the way. Dawn was on the ground, and swung out her long legs and sent the vampire flying. He tumbled a bit, and got back to his feet. He punched Dawn in the stomach, knocking her against the wall of a tomb. Spike ran towards them, and staked the vampire, missing his heart by a few inches. He grabbed the vampire's coat and shoved him to the ground. He raised his stake to strike, but the vampire disappeared in a cloud of dust before he could touch him.  
  
"What the hell . . .?" He got off the ground and looked at Dawn. Her pupils were dialated and black, green sparks flashing across her eyes. She slumped to the ground, staring at the spot the vampire had been.  
  
Spike leaned down over her pulled her to her feet. "Dawn? Dawn, what did you do? Are you alright?" Dawn said nothing, just raised her gaze from the ground to Spike's eyes. "Where's the other vamp?" Spike asked desperately. Dawn's gaze fell again to another pile of dust a little ways off. "Oh." He said softly.  
  
"But . . . he, it, I did that with a stake," she said, looking back up at him. "I don't know . . . what did I do? What happened? I just, I thought he was going to hurt you and. . . don't know. . . It was like my mind was throwing up." Dawn's eyes flashed green once more, and she collapsed onto Spike's shoulders. He sighed worriedly and picked up her limp body. "Best get you out of here, Nibblet."  
  
Spike ran through the gates and towards Rovello Drive. He didn't stop until he was in front of the Summers' home, where he slowed to a walk. He searched under the doormat for the "hidden key" that he had always known to be there. He unlocked the door and hurriedly locked it behind him. Cautiously, he got his bearings. He smelled no evil here, just memories of people he had once known and loved. He hadn't been in this house for more than a year, and by the look of Dawn, she hadn't been here for quite a while either. The house looked like it had been deserted in a great hurry, all the pictures on the walls remained, and the furniture was untouched. He reached for the light switch, and then cursed himself for his stupidity when no lights came on.  
  
"Bloody electric company," he said under his breath. He made his way into the living room and lay Dawn down on the couch. He pulled out his lighter and went around lighting all the candles he could find, casting a dull orange light on the lower story of the house. He turned around when he heard Dawn move. He walked over to her, kneeling down on the ground. "Dawn?" He whispered gently. "Dawn." He said a little more urgently.  
  
"Hmm?" She mumbled, scrunching her face into a sleepy scowl. "Wake up Love." Dawn slowly opened her eyes, and he could see realization take the place of sleepiness in a matter of seconds. She tried to sit up, but Spike pressed her shoulders down with his strong arms. "No, Dawn, just calm down, everything's okay. Do you know what happened back there?" "He dusted," Dawn said, biting her bottom lip. Spike chuckled a little and said, "Well yeah, thanks for clearing that up for me Love. I saw the dust. Felt the dust on my face. But didn't see a stake anywhere near him, and I'm pretty sure his head was intact up until the point where it turned to ashes along with the rest of him. I want to know how that happened, and if you don't know I'm going to help you find out."  
  
"I don't remember what happened." Dawn said, looking determinedly at her fidgety hands. "Don't lie to me," Spike said. "I could always tell when you lie to me. You get all avoidy with the eye contact. Look at me and tell me you don't remember." Dawn looked at him furiously and yelled, "I said I don't remember, okay? God!" She made to get up, but groaned as pain shot up left leg. Spike looked at her, alarmed. "What, where does it hurt Nibblet?" "I think. . . I think my left leg is broken." She said, as the pain throbbed through her. She bit her lip and looked at him. "I didn't mean to yell, I'm sorry." He didn't take his eyes off of her leg, but said, "S'right Nibblet, raging teenage hormones and all. And don't think our little conversation is over either, but we need to take care of your leg. This is going to hurt," he said, finally looking at her. "It's fine, I trust you." She said honestly. "There should be a first aid kit under the sink in the kitchen. I think there are some bandage thingies in there." He nodded and sprinted into the kitchen. She heard the cabinet doors open and close, and then the sound of wood snapping. Spike returned brandishing the first aid kit, and two wooden planks she recognized as the legs of one of the kitchen chairs.  
  
"Gonna splint it?" She asked him, trying to act casual. "Smart bird, you are." He said, smiling sympathetically at her. "I need to see if it's broken or not first, how did it get injured?" Dawn furrowed her forehead, trying to remember the battle scene by scene. "I think . . . when the first vampire threw me over a headstone. My knee hit the top of it and buckled. I didn't really notice with all the angst, you know?" She said looking up at him. "I know." He answered.  
  
Spike set the kit and the chair legs on the coffee table, and knelt down on the carpet. He took a pair of scissors from the first aid kit and made a cut from the bottom of Dawn's pants leg to about mid thigh. He grimaced when he saw the purple already forming around her knee. Spike cut around her leg, and laid the denim on the floor next to him. He gently lifted Dawn's leg and attempted to straighten it out. She jumped a little, but grabbed a fist full of his shirt to stop herself. When she calmed down, he straightened the leg out all the way. He then prodded her knee with gentle fingers, feeling out the bones underneath her bruised skin. After a while, he looked up at her.  
  
"It's not broken, you've just dislocated it and bruised it pretty damn badly. I'll need to splint it still, but I need to . . . " He made a face as if expecting her to fill in the blanks. "Need to what?" Dawn said, sitting up. "Pop it back into place." He finished, expecting her to scream and protest in a whirl of tears and hitting. Dawn went a little pale at the word 'pop', but nodded solemnly. "Hold on to something," he said, trying to reassure her. Not in the least reassured, Dawn grabbed a fistful of sofa cushion, and buried her face in the back of the couch. Spike smiled when he heard a muffled, "Okay". He gently took a hold of her calf and knee, and manipulated her knee back into place. He grimaced when he felt it connect under his hands. "Alright, it's done Nibblet. Now we just need to splint and let it heal."  
  
Dawn looked up from him, her face red from suppressed tears. "I didn't hear it pop." She said, in a joking voice. "If it wasn't going to actually pop, you should have used a nicer word like 'put' or 'place', for example. But no, here's Spike saying 'pop', trying to scare little girls."  
  
Spike laughed and smiled at her. "Didn't mean to scare you Nibblet. Didn't mean to scare any little girls." "Well lucky you, because I obviously wasn't scared one bit." Spike's smile broadened as he put a chair leg on either side of her knee. "Not one little bit? Come on, don't insult me. I am a vampire, and you're a little girl." Spike felt her glare through the side of his head and he looked up at her. Her arms were crossed over her chest in a very indignant fashion. "I am not a little girl." She said, matter of factly. Spike paused in the bandaging, studying her determined face.  
  
"Suppose you aren't anymore, are you?" Dawn shook her head, a smile creeping on her lips. He sighed, and rolled his eyes towards the ceiling. "Guess I can't call you 'Nibblet' anymore after all." He said, faking sadness. "No!" Dawn protested, but Spike ignored her. "Oh, and bloody hell what was I thinking! 'Platelet' and 'Lil Bit' have got to go as well. Those aren't names suitable for a full grown woman." He continued teasing.  
  
"No, it's fine, really! I mean I'm not a full grown woman. . . I'm just not a little girl." She said hurriedly. He smirked at her. "Yeah, you just love my pet names," he said. Dawn stuck her tongue out at him, and at his questioning look she just laughed and said evasively, "Maybe."  
  
They said nothing more as Spike continued wrapping her leg. When he finished he smiled up at her and said, "Right. All fixed Love." "What, with no lollypop? I always got a lollypop." Dawn said with a pout. Spike smiled and said, "Fresh out of those Love, but let's take a look in the kitchen and see what we got for eating."  
  
He leaned down and Dawn wrapped her arms around his shoulders. He lifted her up but she stubbornly put her good leg on the ground. "I can do it." She said. Spike frowned, but let her down. He was relieved when she still clutched his arm for support. They made their way to the kitchen, and Dawn leaned against the doorframe while Spike lit the candles. He went back to Dawn and lifted her over to the kitchen table, helping her sit on one of the unbroken chairs.  
  
After a while of him rummaging around in the pantry, Dawn asked, "So what do we have?" After a moment of silence, Spike replied, "First course will consist of pop tarts." Spike emerged carrying an assortment of boxes.  
  
"Yummy! What flavor?" Spike set the boxes down and bowed low before her. "Strawberry with rainbow sprinkles, my dear." Dawn giggled and hit him lightly on the shoulder. "What about second course?" She asked. "Easy Mac, which according to the directions would take 5 minutes to make if your bloody microwave was working. But I suppose I've got to boil water like the un-modernized people do it. You still keep all that bleeding Evian in your fridge right?" Dawn nodded, and pointed to cupboard. "The pots are in there. How are you going to boil it? If the electricity is out, the gas got cut a long time ago too."  
  
"I'll use your fireplace, which is also where we will be making our desert." He said slyly. Dawn gave him an enquiring look, but he said, "You'll see. Eat your bloody pop tarts girl."  
  
Dawn rolled her eyes and did as she was told for once. She tore open the cellophane and gazed at the multicolored sprinkles. She licked her lips appreciatively and bit in to it, her eyes rolling in the back of her head with delight. "You have no idea how good this tastes right now." Dawn said between chewing. "Well if you want it all to yourself I suggest you stop groaning over it or I just might take the rest." He said, watching her eat. She just smiled at him, shaking her head. Spike opened the fridge and pulled out a large bottle of warm Evian. He poured it into a pot, and made his way into the living room again. Dawn heard him struggling with his lighter, and then heard the crackle of flames. Spike came back in a little while later with a triumphant grin on his face.  
  
"Yeah, I'd say that water will be boiling pretty damn soon." Dawn smiled and said, "Funny how the smallest things in life give us the most trouble." Spike scowled, the triumphant look leaving his face. "You mean like yourself? I'll have you know that my lighter wasn't working properly." "Yeah, uhhuh, whatever." Dawn said, nudging his shoulder as he sat down next to her. Spike grabbed a pop tart and mumbled, "Shut it, you." Dawn lowered her voice as low as she could and imitated his heavy accent, "Or what? You'll kick my bloody arse?" She broke her serious façade by bursting into giggles.  
  
Spike didn't say anything, but finally smiled at her. It was good to hear her laugh again, really laugh. They had had many conversations like this at this very table. He used to love to hear her laugh. And now here he was, reliving the shadows of their past together. A comfortable silence filled the room as girl and vampire ate their pop tarts.  
  
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A/N: Wow, okay. I am really really nervous about this chapter. I wrote my first fight scene and I'm not too sure about how well I did. This chapter took forever to write, and I really hope you like it. For some reason, I'm really nervous about my reviews on this chapter. Please review me and be honest! I need a little bit of help on here, and I hope that wasn't TOO confusing. If you have any questions review me and I'll email you as well as post the answer in the next chapter. Thanks so much everyone! Give me some constructive critisism. Oh, and my beta-man Justin was asleep when I finally finished writing this (5:13 A.M.) so if there are any small errors I missed while re-readind, I appologize 34590824598290358782947 times over.  
  
I love you all! bRi  
  
Oooooh! What's that? A pretty little review button! I wonder what happens when you click it? I heard you get a new chapter faster . . . *wink wink nudge nudge* 


	7. Broken Girl

*It was good to hear her laugh again, really laugh. They had had many conversations like this at this very table. He used to love to hear her laugh. And now here he was, reliving the shadows of their past together. A comfortable silence filled the room as girl and vampire ate their pop tarts.*  
  
Spike got up a few minutes later to check on the progress of the water. Dawn closed her eyes and listened to the familiar sounds of the easy mac box being torn open. The rustling sound of each macaroni struggling to get out of the box and into the pot first.  
  
*Flashback – two years ago* Joyce was at the stove making Dawn funny-shaped macaroni. Dawn hated the regular shapes. Buffy didn't get her, no one really did. So what if she didn't want to be like everyone else and reach automatically for the normal-shaped box? She was a non-conformist and proud of it.  
  
"Is my little Pumpkin Belly ready for her first day of 8th grade?" Joyce asked, looking over at Dawn with a worried expression. Dawn gave her mom a smile and said, "Sure, especially with names like that. I'll be the most popular kid there in zero time flat!" Joyce smiled, her unease ebbing away slightly. She sat down the bowl of macaroni in front of Dawn, and slid in the seat next to her. "Oh no, am I annoying mom now? Here dear, you can squeeze the cheese on it." Dawn's eyes opened in the simple delight of squeezing the cheese on the macaroni. "Oooh, cheese!" She said, giggling.  
  
Buffy came down the stairs and rolled her eyes dramatically at her little sister. "Dawn, macaroni and cheese for breakfast? As soon as I'm out of class Giles and I are going over my 'Dawn was switched at birth and real parents are a tribe of space monkeys' theory. She walked over to her mother and kissed her forehead. Dawn, ignoring Buffy's comment, held up a spoon full of macaroni and said with her eyes crossed, "Want some? Ooooodles of Nooodles!" Buffy sighed, walked over to Dawn and kissed her cheek. "I love you, have a good first day." Dawn watched her sister walk out through the back door, and looked to her mom. Everything was perfect.  
  
*End flashback*  
  
"Voila, macaroni a la Spike." Dawn opened her eyes. The room was exactly how it had been, but darkness slowly covered every corner of the room until it was completely dark. Dawn blinked, trying to adjust. She put a hand to her cheek. Buffy had just kissed her, she was just there and had left. Dawn turned around frantically and looked at the back door. Dusty, shutters closed, it stood shut as it had for months.  
  
She slowly turned around, to see Spike watching her. His gaze was piercing, searching. He reached over to her and wiped away the tears she didn't know that she had shed. Neither of them spoke. Dawn sat there, mouth trembling, trying to figure it all out. Mom, mom and Buffy had both been there a second ago. It had been so bright, the house was happy with glow of love. Dawn's future was ensured to be a bright one. But now, it was dark and dusty, like a negative photo of the real picture. Dawn looked right through Spike, and down to the bowl of macaroni in front of her. A small but powerful voice in her head kept playing on rewind; "Here dear, you can squeeze the cheese on it." Dawn closed her eyes, not sure if she wanted to make it go away or to make it real.  
  
"Come back," she whispered subconsciously. Dawn began to rock back and forth in her chair, holding herself. "Come back, come back."  
  
Spike, unable to stand there and watch any longer knelt down and pushed back the hair from her face. Dawn stopped rocking, and looked into his eyes. Spike held the side of her face. Dawn's eyes were crazed, and glassed over. Spike knew she was staring through him, not seeing him at all. He stared at her, searching her. "Nibblet?" He said, unsure. Dawn's forehead furrowed. "Mommy." She said. Spike wrapped his arms around Dawn, and she tensed against him, not moving. He rubbed her hair gently, and after a while he felt her relax against him. Hot tears began to seep through his shirt, and her body shook with silent sobs. Spike held her closer and let her cry. How he wished he could fix his broken little girl.  
  
- - -  
  
Hey. I know that it's been forever since I've updated and I am really sorry! I'd been writing and people had been posting questions that I didn't really know how to answer. So, I decided to go back from the beginning and watch all the old Buffy episodes so I can get to know the characters all over again. I just want my writing to be better and more meaningful. I hope you liked this chapter, I know it was sweet but I wanted it to kinda mean something. Dawn is NOT all better and totally 100%. She's broken. I'm going to explore that a little more, and what that really means. Get ready for some flashbacks and painful memories.  
  
Someone noted and asked me to write about what's happened to Dawn and what happened to all the Scoobied. Don't worry; I'll get there. I'm still peicing it together myself, lol. And I don't want to rush it and have it not be a satisfying story line. So be patient! As always, I appreciate and cherish ALL of your ideas and imput. This story is as much yours as mine, and I want you to like it. So PLEASE give me ideas, anything. And if you could copy and paste your favorite part of the chapter and why, haha, I would love that. Thanks!! You all make me a better writer. Love you all.  
  
x0x Bri  
  
p.s. love to justin, my "beta" 


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